Funerals for Babies and Children in Melbourne

This post is intended to be a clear and concise guide to help families to understand the processes and decisions needed when a child or baby dies. It is absolutely harrowing to even contemplate the death of a child, yet the reality is, this happens every day.

I have tried to make this post informative and simple, so families in need can understand the processes, but please go slowly with the content, and take care of yourself as you delve into this information.

Baby and Kid's Coffins :: What happens when a Child dies (Melbourne) :: Planning a child/infant Funeral :: Infant & Child Urns :: Resources for Grieving Parents

This article will cover each of the topics above, but know you can reach us 24/7 on the phone. We are Melbourne funeral directors that also serve all of country Victoria.

How we came to this work

Although we are known for our work offering incredibly personal send-offs for LGBTIQ+, subcultural types, environmentalists and inner North types, the origins of this work for me (Kimba) was through my training and work as a birth attendant (or doula). I studied with Rhea Dempsey, Australia's leading voice on natural birth. After supporting women and their families birthing in hospital and at home, I was called to assist families who had lost a baby prior to, at, or soon after birth. These early experiences of supporting people through birth and through the loss of a child informed my whole life, and lead me to this path of authentic funeral and deathcare.

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What happens when an infant/child dies (Melbourne)

Stillborn/Newborn babies

It is such a shocking and heartwrenching thing to lose a babe at this time, and so few of us realise that 1 in 100 pregnancies ends in stillbirth or newborn death.

When a baby dies at this time, the hospital will guide you through the processes that need to happen, and give you medical and emotional support as you navigate these confusing early days of sudden grief. You should be able to spend time with your baby and introduce them to your family members, who also need time to grieve.

Often the hospital or the Coroner's will want to perform an autopsy on the baby; although this can be upsetting to discuss, it is the best way to find out why a baby has died.

During this time you can also contact a funeral director. A good funeral director will liaise with the hospital or Coroner's office to ensure you are kept up to date with things, and to assist you in working out things like if you'd like to take your baby home, how you can have the farewell you want, and so on.

Click here to read an excellent fact sheet SANDS has produced on these issues

The Death of an older baby or child

If your child was unwell and in the care of a hospital or doctor, then their death is treated very much like any other person who has been sick. You will have the chance to spend time at their bedside saying goodbye, and you can engage a funeral director at this time, who can guide you through the whole process, including if you'd like to take your child home, or spend more time with them after death.

When a child dies suddenly

When a child dies unexpectedly, they will be taken to the Coroner's so that they cause and manner of their death can be established. The staff at Coronial admissions are excellent, and will keep you informed as to the process and progress of their investigation.

During this time you can engage a funeral director who will be on standby to take your child into their care as soon as the Coroner's have finished their investigation. We will collect your child anytime day or night, and tuck them in at our facility.

Access information on the first 48 hours at the Coroner's HERE

Choosing a Funeral Director for your Infant/Child's Funeral

Many funeral directors will offer low or no-cost funerals for babies. We have decided against this type of offering (although we do have a philanthropic funeral fund for anyone who cannot afford a funeral). Often these low-cost offerings are quite limited in scope, and don't allow for a lot of personalisation.

Also, both Last Hurrah Co-Founders are mothers and step-mothers and we strive to offer our families a continuity of care, so that families can rely on one person to guide, support, and walk beside them on this journey to farewelling their child. The care we offer goes far beyond arranging a child's funeral and aligns more with offering emotional and practical support, a circle of support that supports the immediate family and their wider community. We absolutely love this work we do, but the emotional labor is intense.

The main thing when choosing a Funeral Director for your child's funeral is that they are able to hold you with whatever your situation, and that there is a high level of flexibility and imagination, so that you can have the funeral or farewell that really reflects you and your child. The funeral should come from the heart, and not fit into a timeslot, venue or format that is pre-determined.

Planning your Child's Funeral

Here are the major aspects you'll need to consider, and some ideas and extra information to help you at a time where making decisions is almost unthinkably hard.

Seeing your Child again (Viewings, vigils, going home)

It is possible in most circumstances to spend more time with your child after their death. There are so many different circumstances around how children die, but we understand how important it is to have time to sit with your child, and let your mind, body and spirit come to understand they have gone.

There are so many ways you can do this. Sometimes families want to bring a child home. We can support you to do this, and can access either a cold cot or a cooling bed, so that your time with your child can be supported in safe and comfortable way.

Sometimes people want to keep their child home for a couple of nights, and we can also support you to do this.

Finally, we are also able to to have you come to our facility for a viewing, if that suits you better. Sometimes we also take a child home for a brief time between their funeral and disposition. All this is possible.

Cremation or Burial - Options in Melbourne and Country Victoria

Many people never give this much thought, and why would they? It is often the last thing we consider with our children in mind. This information is meant to offer some clear information, but of course we are available 24/7 to delve deeper into these choices with you.

Cremation is the most popular choice for disposition in Australia today. We have existing relationships with Fawkner Memorial Park, Lilydale Memorial Park, Springvale Botanical Cemetery, Altona Memorial Park, Remembrance Parks Central Victoria, Bunurong Memorial Park, Geelong Crematorium and Ballarat too.

If you wanted to accompany your child and have a witness cremation, you're absolutely able to do that as well. We also offer shrouded cremation, if you'd prefer that to a standard coffin.

Cremation is the most affordable option for most families.

Burial is available in many places across Melbourne and Regional Victoria, and ranges from plots in premium areas of well-known cemeteries, smaller rural cemeteries and even natural burial. Some families choose a plot that will allow them to one day be buried with their child.

Burial prices vary greatly, but it tends to be far more expensive than cremation, and the cost can amount to many thousands of dollars, so it's worth considering this when looking at options.

Children's and Baby's Coffins and Caskets

One of the things we noticed when entering this field was that there weren't so many options available for coffins for babies and kids, beyond the very standard white coffin with white silky interior. That may be perfect for your family, but we are interested in having a wider choice for people.

We have a range of children's coffins in pine, wicker, and a special NZ-made casket crib in Ply.

Coffins can be expensive, but we aim to offer coffins and caskets at the most reasonable price possible, and can arrange for a free casket if you are under financial strain.

Planning a beautiful Funeral for your Child in Melbourne

Planning a funeral that truly reflects your child and your love for them may take many forms. There are often a whole lot of small details you want to include, and many people in the wider family and community that want to take part.

A good funeral director will listen carefully to your vision and then give you meaningful options that match the feel, tone and spirit of the farewell you want to have.

For us, an important aspect is location. Many cemetery chapels have incredibly tight time-frames, and push through many funerals a day, leaving a feeling that one is on a conveyor belt.

A child's funeral should take as long as it takes, incorporate different elements and happen in a place a family feels comfortable with. They can happen in a backyard, down at the park, in a venue in your neighbourhood, down at the beach. There is no limit to where you can plan a funeral (sometimes permits may be needed to have a coffin outdoors, but we are finding more and more councils are supporting this).

You might want to begin with a vigil at home, with close family members, then onto burial or cremation, followed by a celebration of life and memorial service in a place you can also have food and drinks. Later you may have an additional ceremony for the ash scattering, or to honour a special place or ritual that was important to your child.

The funeral might be intimate or enormous, involving just immediate family or an entire community. We specialise in assisting cross-cultural families to have a farewell that incorporates all aspects of the different cultures the families of origin have, in a way that is seamless and respectful.

Music, photos and videos, cultural displays, memorial sporting matches, performances by their peers - we are able to support all these and more.

We also partner with another local funeral company, Chapter House to offer families the use of a specially designed hearse for children.

Infant and Child Urns and Keepsakes

If your child is buried, you may like to keep a lock of their hair as a keepsake, and we partner with an amazing artist who turns hair into beautiful wearable art. See HAIRLOOMSwebsite for samples.

We have a local craftsperson who handcrafts urns out of reclaimed timber, and he can alter the design to your specification. Each piece is carefully hewn and is sustainable and beautiful.

If you'd like to have something special to hold a smaller portion of your child's cremated remains, then we absolutely love the urns made by our friend Deb at the Porcelain Urn Company